Welcome to Yesterday’s News Time-Travel Agency

Rosie: “Welcome to Yesterday’s News Time-Travel Agency, you’re speaking with Rosie, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes hello! Please help! My name is Bianca Roberts, my father Neil Roberts is lying wounded in a battlefield 604 years ago! He’s stuck in 1415!”

Rosie: “Oh my how awful, ma’am don’t you worry we’ll get this sorted, where was he travelling?”

Customer: “All I know is he went through the northern France portal but the phone cut out before he could tell me details!”

Rosie: “Don’t worry ma’am I’m tracking him as we speak, he’s chip shows me where and what condition he is…OK he’s still alive but he’s lost a lot of blood, and he’s used all his call credits.”

Customer: “Oh my god I can’t lose him!”

Rosie: “Judging by his tracker, he’s in Saint-Pol, he must have found himself in the battle of Agincourt. What’s his insurance policy number we’ll send a team back right away.”

Customer: “Insurance? He didn’t buy the travel insurance but he needs help he’s dying! Please, I’ll find a way to pay for it.”

Rosie: “Of course whatever you say ma’am, sending the minimum 3-person medic team to Northern France will cost $12 million, as soon as the funds are clear I’ll send a team back to save his life right away.”

Customer: “I can’t afford that I make $60,000 a year! Is there a payment plan or something you just can’t leave him there to die!”

Rosie: “I’m very sorry ma’am but our polices and contracts clearly cover the risks associated with time travel and our recommendations for travel insurance, your father should have purchased a policy, have a nice day.”

Rosie: “Welcome to Yesterday’s News Time-Travel Agency, you’re speaking with Rosie, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh my god please help! My brother Matt is in 92AD, he just used his last call credit to call me, he’s been taken prisoner in Rome, they’re sending him to the coliseum to fight! He’s only 18! He’s a computer programmer he doesn’t know how to fight, hell die!”

Rosie: “Don’t worry ma’am we can send a security-team to rescue him right away. Just need his insurance number please?”

Customer: “He…he said he couldn’t afford the insurance, he was just sight-seeing so he didn’t think he would need it, but please you need to do something!”

Rosie: “Of course ma’am, the minimum two-person security team will cost $6 million out of pocket. If you can source the funds I can dispatch a security team to retrieve your brother right away.”

Customer: “I…I can’t afford that…”

Rosie: “Very sorry ma’am, be sure to call back if conditions change. Have a nice day.”

Rosie: “Welcome Mr and Mrs Sullivan, come in, come in, thank you for choosing Yesterday’s News Time-Travel Agency for your first time travel experience.”

Customers: “We can’t wait, we’ve been saving our whole lives for this trip!”

Rosie: “After our chat have you decided where you want to go?”

Customers: “We were juggling between France and Rome, they seem to have the best packages in our budget.”

Rosie: “Excellent choice, I highly recommend purchasing our travel insur…”

Customer: “Aaahhh sorry to cut you off Rosie I know all about those insurance scams. You get huge commissions in return for tricking us into over-priced insurance, plus according to your brochure the insurance costs ten times what the trip does. I think we’ll give that a miss, that price is criminal.”

Rosie: “Not a problem sir. Here at Yesterday’s News Time-Travel Agency we cater for everyone. We have two time periods in the budget and areas you’ve requested, our 1415 Northern France Portal, or our 92AD Rome?

Customer: France sounds lovely.


​by /u/schuj1 

From: Reddit


 

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